Finlay At 3 Years Old & A Little Video!

My darling little boy. How is it possible for me to be writing about you at 3 years old? It seems only a short while a go I cradled you, fed you, changed your nappies, dressed you up like some sort of possession, but now it seems those things are firmly gone. Not from memory, but most definitely in reality.

Now it seems you don’t need time for much at all. I’m not sure if it’s because you have a little brother who is still firmly dependant on me so you seem extra grown up. You don’t even like me to take you to the loo anymore, I mean that’s fair enough because let’s face it, it’s a pretty private matter, but still it’s yet another thing you don’t need me for, and I won’t lie, it hurts mummy’s heart an awful lot sometimes.

Dont get me wrong, as much as you growing up breaks me, I am full of pride as I watch you. Watching you learn to face the world which sometimes feels so scary is something you inevitably must do on your own, and it seems you’re taking it all in that stride of yours, you are such a confident little man, you’ll say hello to almost anyone, you love to wave and talk to people, and it makes mummy a little mad that there are people who completely blank you! (Who does that?!).

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You’ve just started your second term at nursery and you absolutely love it. You have the biggest smile walking in there, and equally the biggest as you leave. You love to paint & colour, but I think your favourite is pretending to cook people meals in your kitchen and bring it to them “eat your breakfast mummy”, “you want some more?”, I could listen to you all day, well let’s be honest, I do! As from the minute those beautiful eyes ping open you are quite literally a non stop chatterbox until you shut them again at bedtime! Me and your daddy always joke about where an earth you would get such a trait from (it’s 100% daddy).

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However, let’s not be fooled, there are a fair few days when you and I seem to bump heads! You can be a little mare when you choose to be, and you aren’t a fan of listening to mummy when she tells you off, I mean I do go on a little, but still my sweetheart, just humour me at least! You aren’t a huge fan of sharing either at the moment, and if I’m honest I know it can be annoying that your little brother wants absolutely everything that you are playing with, but please understand that mummy doesn’t perhaps tell him off the same because he’s a bit too little to fully understand, but in the near future I guarantee he will.

Food. You aren’t big on meals at the moment(ever), but mummy is telling herself it’s a little phase and is just riding it out for now. You’ll of course eat all the rubbish in the world, but when it comes to actual meals they’re a challenge to get into you. We’ll get there though, I know we will.

Please can I just sorry? Sorry for not always having enough patience, or not giving you enough attention, or snapping at you just because I’ve had a bit of an off day in general, or not spending enough quality time with you, or not reading you just one more story at bed time (you do have 3 though!)

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I love you, more than I ever imagined I could. From the moment I found out we were expecting you, you were my entire world. I am so proud of the little boy you are growing up to be. You are so sweet and so caring of others and that really makes my heart smile.

I love you my little Finny-bobs, forever & always

Mummy & Daddy x

 

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ARE YOU READY TO BECOME A PARENT?

I think this question has to be one the most asked questions before or even during pregnancy. I find this question extremely hard to answer, as I believe there are so so so many factors every first time parent considers when making the decision to try for a baby, or even considers them once they find out they’re pregnant (& for the next 9 months – 18 years).

I am a ‘young mum’. There’s no doubt about that fact, I am 23 years old and have a 2 year old and 4 month old. I understand that it’s a very young age to have two children, and trust me I get the label a lot, which is fine because it is true. The only thing that bothers me about being put into this so called ‘catergory’ is that I think people assume that just because I am young means that I wasn’t ready, or I am naïve about how difficult it is having two young children. Which then leads me to my ultimate question.

Are you ready to become a parent?

No. I wasn’t. Materialistically speaking, yes I was completely, I had everything I needed, I had everything I wanted for my new little bundle of joy. Emotionally? I mean I had done all research physically possible, I’d looked up every single bit of information I thought I’d ever need to absolutely nail this whole parenting thing. However once the baby was born, I realised just how much I wasn’t expecting. I knew the nights would be tough, but not that tough. I knew my baby would cry a lot when he needed feeding/changing/burping etc, but I didn’t anticipate that he would just cry for the sake of crying, and for a long time too. I know our lives would change forever, but I just never anticipated just really how much they would, I mean having a newborn baby is pretty much a house bound scenerio. I knew it would be expensive, I knew I would need to buy lots and lots of nappies and formula. However I didn’t consider just how much I would spend at Christmas and birthdays, and as for my wardrobe? Goodbye Topshop, hello Tesco F&F! I’ve heard a lot of people say how their kids are so much better dressed than they are, and I can confirm that this is true.

But is all of that really because of my age? We were married, we owned a house, we had good jobs with a good income, we had a huge support system, so why shouldn’t I have made the decision with my husband to start a family, just because I was young?

Yes I could’ve gone travelling, and I could’ve continued going out every weekend. However, to me and my husband, none of that even comes close to what we have now. The nights out, and carefree lifestyle, to me are nothing to what I feel for my two little boys. The love I feel for them, the sheer enjoyment of dressing them in nice clothing, the fun we have at Christmas and family holidays, the weekends spent at Farmer Freds, or some other animal/soft play attraction, their faces at Christmas and birthdays. They are what really matter in my life.

I genuinely don’t believe no matter what age you are, nothing, and I mean you can go to every NCT class going, read every book, but until that baby comes, I really don’t believe anything will ever prepare you, not only for how truly difficult it is, but how utterly amazing it is too.

Chloe x

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How do you cope with a ‘Threenager’?

Ok.. so towards the end of 2016, my biggest little one had become a little on the difficult(beyond ruthless) side. Fingers crossed since Christmas has gone he seems to have gone back to his old ways, but I wont hold my breath just yet.

During this time however both me and my husband were at a point where we literally did not know what to do, from the naughty step not working, to threatening Father Christmas wouldn’t come, just absolutely nothing seemed to work, and he to be quite honest just wasn’t bothered about any discipline method we tried. I wanted to write this post not for me to reflect on or anything to do with us really, but to perhaps help another parent who feels they are failing at every single aspect of parenting. I have been in that dark hole so many times, and it can feel like the loneliest, most self destructive place, but I want to reassure anyone who may be reading this and feel the same that my gosh you are not alone in the slightest.

I don’t feel I can help you in terms with how to overcome it, because I don’t know. I tried what felt like everything through this point. From ignoring the behaviour, explaining why certain things weren’t acceptable, raising my voice, the naughty step, taking away things such as toys, I even got to a point one day where I shut him in his room, now it was only for a second whilst I stood outside the door, and the guilt I felt was just unreal, but I was at my lowest, and I think desperation sometimes kicks in a bit, and you can lose sense of rationality.

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I think the best way to cope with all these behavioural stages that these littles seem to go through endlessly is to remember you are only human, everybody copes differently, we all have different ways of parenting that not necessarily everyone agrees with, but if its working for you, don’t be judged, and don’t let a comment knock you. You are your childs parent and you know what is best for them.

This phase has by far been the most testing. I thought ‘terrible twos’ was bad, but then my little got smarter, and somewhat fearless! Everything from not listening to a single thing anyone says, laughing at being told off (that really pushes the buttons), jumping on every bit of furniture we own, not eating meals – this is still ongoing and beyond tiring, pushing his brother, and refusing to share, it has just seemed an endless cycle, and I think what makes it a bit worse is that he was only like it with us, not grandparents, or at nursery, we’d get the “he’s been an angel” comment, and it felt like our heads were imploding! What? Do we imagine it? Does he hate us? What are we doing so wrong?

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But the bottom line is we aren’t doing it wrong, he doesn’t hate us, and we are not imagining it. He’s a child. He’s growing and learning every single day, yes he will have these phases, it doesn’t make them any easier when you’re in the peak of one, but they will come out of it in their own time, and as parents we just cope and get through them.

Being a parent is HARD, really bloody hard. But at the same time it’s the single best thing I have ever ever achieved in my life. My little ‘threenager’ past all of the attitude and naughtiness, is the sweetest, most caring, clever little man. I couldn’t possible explain my love for him. I think I need to stop trying to work these things out, because there is no answer, no solution. It’s a part of parenthood, and one I feel very grateful be a part of.

 

Here’s to the next sodding phase!

Chloe x

 

 

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2017 GOALS

So its been a long time since I wrote on here, and to be honest last year was just a write off in terms of my blog. We just had so much going on and my blog just had to take a back seat because of it, but I am really determined to stick to it this year as I love the blogging world, it’s just such a good way to talk about life when you need to, and the blogging community has a way of comforting you when you most need it.

So here is my first post of 2017! My list of goals I really want to achieve this year.

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Get Organised!

Since having two little people to look after, my memory has become somewhat filled with everyday thoughts such as did I turn off the iron? which child needs feeding next? where did I put the god damn nappies? (the amount I use them, I really shouldn’t forget the next day where I put them) but I do! Then before I know it I’ve forgotten a probably really important appointment. I actually forgot about Jacobs jabs appointment but blamed it on the husband for taking my car keys with him to work.. So this one really is TOP & I need to get my bum in gear with it!

Commit to my blog

Like I said above, last year was a right off for committing to anything really, so I’m hoping this year will a bit less hectic so that I can really start to commit some time into blogging, I want to grow it, and make it something to be proud of, I want it to be a space to share not just the good things in life, but also the DAILY (minutely) struggles with having a little threenager & 1 year old who is everywhere..

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Have more patience

I hate to admit it, but when it comes to the boys I have zero patience, and I cannot stand it. I love my boys to bits, and they are really good, but lately they’ve gotten on top of me a little and I’ve not been giving them enough time. I really need to play with them more because I can already see how much they are growing and its terrifying, I NEED to spend more quality time with them rather than tidying, being on my phone or whatever else I’m doing. They are my number one and so I need to pull it together and make it more obvious!

Date nights

Now, unfortunately that poor husband of mine lacks any attention from me what so ever, he is absolutely amazing, and I love him beyond words, but I have seriously neglected any attention to him, so we really need to start spending more quality time together, going out for meals just us, which I think I can probably count on one hand the amount of times  we’ve done in the last 14 months.

Be more social

I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been like it since I can remember. When it comes to going anywhere with social interaction, it makes me really anxious, to a point where I seem really up my own, and I’m not in the slightest, but speaking to new people is something that makes me quite anxious, which then I seem to give off a “don’t talk to me” vibe, but I don’t mean it, I would love nothing more than to have a chat with new people, whether it be at soft play, work or even the bloody supermarket!

Get out of the house

Since having Jacob I’ve been a bit housebound when I’m on my own, the thought of going into a public space on my own with both kiddies in tow terrifies me slightly as it can go either way, the pinterest way or the beginning of an apocalypse. Usually the latter at the moment, but I need to keep going and do more things because to be honest my poor boys don’t get out enough, I just need to suck it up and deal with it!

So there are my 6 main goals for 2017, and I really hope I am able to stick to them, I need a bit of good change this year!

Happy New Year!

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Chloe x

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