How do you really ever come to terms with the fact a loved one is dying? This week me and my family were faced with the heart wrenching news that my dear grandad didn’t have much longer left with us. I really don’t think there’s anything in the world that can prepare you for news like that. When you’re told someone you love soon wont be here, you can really feel your heart break. I’ve had my fair share of loss throughout the years, and I can say that it never ever gets easier to hear. If anything I feel it worse each time.
I’m a big worrier, but not about myself. About the people around me, and to see them suffer in such a way really knocks it out of me. I hate to see so many people hurting. Nothing compares to hurt you see for someone who is struggling, frightened, and genuinely lost. Seeing your parents upset and hurting is something that will never be easy to see, you question how strong you can be for them, when all of your life they have been the strong ones, but you have to be, you have to be there for them. I have two very small children who of course don’t understand anything is wrong, and rightly so that they shouldn’t see us upset. However that doesn’t make hiding it any easier.
When you’re given such devastating news you begin to question if you were there enough, or if you did enough for that person. There are so many things you go over in your head and question if you should’ve done differently. So many scenarios that sometimes you wish had gone a different way. This week has taught me that life is far too short to continuously worry about the small things. The small things don’t matter in hindsight.
I will be holding my loved ones a little tighter, for a little longer.