From before I can even remember, I have always been fortunate enough to have been abroad pretty much every year since I was around 3, up until Finlay was 1. Since then we haven’t been abroad and have stuck to little holidays in this country in stead. This has been partly down to Jacob being born, and I just cant face a flight with the little wriggler, but the main issue is that out of no where I have become absolutely TERRIFIED at even the thought of flying. I mean I’ve never really enjoyed it and there has always been a bit of fear there but I’ve never been to a point where I physically cant get on a plane, and if I’m totally honest, it sucks.
I’m not exactly sure what triggered it, but I had a panic attack on the flight back from Mallorca when Finlay was 10 months old, and I’ve never experienced anything like it. There was turbulence and I just lost it, my eyes went black, I felt like I was going to be sick, I couldn’t keep still and I just remember I kept going on and on at the flight attendant about how it ‘wasn’t normal’ for the plane to be shaking. *Hangs head in absolute shame*. How embarrassing! It’s totally out of character for me to act this way and I’m so embarrassed by it, but at the same time, I couldn’t help it. Real fear does strange things to you, and this was definitely that! I don’t think all the evil going on in the world recently has helped but I don’t believe that’s all to blame for it.